This week I spent a lot of time talking to people who feel they are hopeless and unloved.  Their hearts and minds so weighed down with burdens and chains they don’t want to face their lives any longer.

My heart breaks for them. They are in agony. Writhing to escape the trap of lies from the evil one. I’ve been there before. I’ve known the ache to just end my life. To stop the mental and spiritual torture of a broken heart. A heart broken by the circumstances of my life. I’ve had the voice of a liar speaking curses and untruths to me day and night.

He made me believe I was a mistake, unlovable, without hope, and not even God could love me. He told me to face the facts that I would be better off dead and forgotten than to face one more day of the agony I was in. Besides no one will miss me and they would be better off without me.

But… Jesus had a different plan for me. He gave me someone who loved me unconditionally.

My Grandma, or Grams as we affectionately called her. She loved me. She was my best friend. She loved everyone she came into contact with and I know for fact she prayed for them all. Good or bad she wanted them to know they are loved. She never spoke an ill word about them.

Grams told me about Jesus. How he loved me. How he created me. How even though I was the result of a unwanted pregnancy, Jesus always had a plan for me. He knew me. The God of the Universe loved me.

I once had a dream where Satan was at my church. He was standing on stage spewing hateful vile words to the congregation. The pastors and others are calling out “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!” But he just laughed at them and continued to curse everyone.  I said “let me try.” I yelled out “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!” Suddenly, Satan stood directly in front of me. I told him I didn’t understand how he didn’t have to leave like I was always told he would. He said “Do you know why I don’t have to leave? None of you really know how much Jesus loves you. If you did you would have so much power I couldn’t hurt you anymore. I would have to leave you alone.”

Talk about a crazy dream, but it taught me that knowing the power of the love of Christ is my weapon against all things. If I know the love of Jesus, I couldn’t be fearful, sad, or without hope. I couldn’t hate myself because I would know I was hating Jesus because I am made in His image. I would trust that Jesus has a plan for me. I would know I was lovable and wanted.

This love changes everything. I don’t listen to the voice of the enemy anymore. I still have scars and sometimes my heart can look at a circumstance and get a glimmer of old pains. Suddenly the still small voice of the Holy Spirit speaks to me. He reminds me how precious I am. How I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He has a purpose and plan for me. He is my Rock and Salvation. I don’t have to be lost in a sea of loneliness, self hatred, and hopelessness.

I hope others feel loved by me. I want to exude a spirit of love. I hope I leave a  legacy like my Grams who showed all people the love of Jesus.

Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 37-39)