Help me want!

There are a lot of things I want in this world. I want to have a new house. I want a new career. I want to be thin. I have pursued achieving these desires. I’ve saved. I’ve researched and planned. I’ve dieted till I’m so sick of salad I could die. These goals have been just out of my reach. I’ve been wondering how come the more I focus on these goals the farther I get from achieving them? Lately, I’ve had some other wants. I want to be healthy and to feel well. I don’t want to have a permanent disability. I want to walk straight and run freely.

I’m a believer. I know my God is all-powerful.  Couldn’t He just let me win the lottery or something?  I could buy a house with the winnings. Couldn’t He miraculously give me a dream job as a movie critic? After all, I do love popcorn.  Couldn’t I wake up one morning looking slim and trim.   Wake up without pain and my heart in perfect health. None of this is out of His realm of capability. There is not one thing I could desire that our Father God could not do or give me. Matthew 19:26 says Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Is my focus all wrong? Am I focused on the now rather than the eternal? I keep praying for these wants to happen but sometimes God makes me wait or maybe it will never happen. What should my desire be?

Natalie Grant has a new song called More Than Anything. It says:  “I know if you wanted to you could wave your hand and spare me from this heartache and change your plan. But even if you don’t I pray… Help me want the Healer more than the healing. Help me want the Savior more than the saving. Help me want the Giver more than the giving. Help me want Jesus more than anything.” 

It has struck me how this should be my prayer. I get so focused on what I want and desire I treat Jesus like He is the owner of a huge shopping mart.  I put in my order and expect Him to deliver. Jesus is not Amazon!  There is no 2 day shipping. My prayers have become order forms rather than a conversation with the Lover of my soul. Imagine if Amazon had the wisdom of God. Could they see all the consequences of the orders we Christians place. They won’t know someone is diabetic. They won’t know that if someone orders candy that it is going to put them into a diabetic coma. They can’t tell if a customer purchases a treadmill that they will fall off of it and break a leg. Jesus knows all things. He has wisdom in his blessings and in his closing of doors. We fight against Him when the wants don’t happen in our time. I have become a firm believer in being thankful when what we want doesn’t happen. I know for some reason the Lord blocked that from happening. He sees the whole picture.

If we seek after the wrong things we may miss out on amazing blessings. There are also protections the Lord has put up blocking our human desires. It can get very frustrating when we focus on the fleshly desire rather than on what God’s perfect plan is for us . I have to trust that Jesus is for me. He is not against me and wants me to have good things. He is our Good Shepherd after all. (John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.)  He knows where the wolves lie in wait to devour us. He knows the rocks on the cliff are loose and we could fall to our death if He allows us to wonder there.

If we stay focused on the Healer rather than on just the healing we will truly know healing in the end. If we focus on our Savior rather than the saving we will know perfect confidence in His power to save us. If we focus on the Giver of all good things we will focus on His ability to give us what we need when we need it. Trusting in His goodness and His love is the key to living a fruitful Christian life. He loves us. He  knows what will bring out blessings to us. Even the painful things can be disguised blessings. The relationships lost, jobs lost, times in spiritual deserts can bring about something else that will bless us more. We must trust His wisdom over our own. Maybe that time of illness. Your long recovery gives you the opportunity to study the Word. It may grow something that never would have had the time to grow if you were able to work full-time. Maybe the nights of insomnia gave you time to pray when you normally had no time to do so. Maybe a lost love will make room for your true love.

Knowing Jesus is the key to it all. If we want a relationship with Jesus then He will be there. He will add in all the rest. (Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.) He loves us. We need to confidently walk in that knowledge. We need to stay focused on wanting Jesus rather than what he can give us. We need to stop shopping in our prayers.

Should we not ask God for things we desire? Of course not, but our focus needs to be on Jesus not on what we desire. James 4:2 says we don’t have because we don’t ask God for it. We are to petition the Lord but we also need to accept it when He closes the door on it.

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Deep Love

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God’s Love. As I sit and contemplate this love it boggles my mind. God’s love for us makes no sense at all. It’s boundless, wild, and free. We limit God’s love with the boundaries we have in our love for others. We can’t comprehend the limitless love by a Holy God. He must have a limits to His love, right? How far can someone go till God says no more? Until He says “I will not love them”.

There are the unforgivable sins in our minds. The person who broke our hearts with unrequited love. The person who betrayed us. The person who came in and stole our trust. What about the person who molested us or our children? What about the murderer? The drunk driver who destroyed our world.  Surely God’s love can’t go to that extent?

When we  look at the world with the human eye we can draw a line. My Christian love only goes so far but don’t push it. I have seen, heard, and experienced some pretty unforgivable things in my life. Did God stop loving the perpetrator? Does God love me when it’s been me who’s done the unforgivable? Is there a limit?

The only limit to God’s love is the one in our minds. His love extends even to the one who will never turn to Him. He loves even the one who will one day walk into eternity in hell. He’s called out to the soul of every person. He tried to win the heart of each of them. Imagine loving someone so much your heart aches for them but they turn away. Imagine the heartbreak.

God has the power to make someone love him or follow him. He loves us enough to let us keep our free will to choose this love or walk away.

What about the days that life is so bleak for us. We are buried in grief and pain. Such a deep pit of sorrow. What if we find ourselves in a concentration camp facing gas chambers as Corrie Ten Boom did. Is God’s love able to reach us there? The answer is “Yes!” God’s love reaches to us in the dark. His light shines on us and rescues us in that cold dark place.

In 1987 the story of an 18 month old named Jessica held the world’s attention. She had fallen down a well in her aunts backyard in Midland, Tx. She was stuck 22 feet down. It took 58 hours for rescuers to reach her. I remember our whole family watched the news. We waited and prayed for hours for this little one. God was there with her. She has said in interviews that she knows He was there. The world cheered as she was delivered from the pit. I think God and His angels cheer when we are finally delivered.

Luke 15:10 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.

The Bible tells of the Great Shepherd who leaves the 99 to find the 1 lost sheep.

Luke 15:4-7 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

I’ve been in some pretty dark times. I didn’t see how God could reach me. I knew I had actually dug that hole myself. I had shaken my fist at God and had purposefully walked away to wallow in my anger, pain, and sin. I walked with this anger for almost a year. I refused to pray. To go to church. Even avoiding all the people who would try to bring me back into my faith. As I look back on it, I can see God’s hand in guiding me back. He used circumstances to channel me to restore my relationship with Him again. Even during my year of rebellion He was working it out for my good.

He was still loving me in the pit. His grace and mercy were available the whole time. He hadn’t changed His love for me. I think one of the greatest tools the enemy has is convincing people they have gone too far and God could not love them now. What a complete lie that is. There is nothing that separates us from the love of God. Romans 8:38-39 says “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.”

I believe there are those who will never choose to follow Jesus. They will go to Hell if they die in that state. Did God stop loving them? Not for one minute. He loves them and is so very grieved by their choice. He will not force you to follow him. We have free will.

I am so very thankful for His love. He has reached out to me in the pit and lifted me up. Angels rejoiced as Jesus brought back the lost sheep.

Corey Asbury sings: 

“Reckless Love”

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
And I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah