I’m sitting here asking the Holy Spirit to give me words to share. I need and call for Him to speak through me. To use me as an instrument. An instrument to help myself and others to understand who this amazing Triune God is.

How do you describe one so holy? I sometimes feel I almost catch a glimpse of Him. A flutter of His passing robe. A subtle breeze or fragrance of Him. I think if I really had found any tangible evidence of Him in the physical, I would die in awe. His Glory would be too much for a mere human. He knew that we needed a way to be in His presence so he shared part of Himself when he sent Jesus. Of course I cannot fully explain the concept of the Trinity, but I do know that Jesus is God. He is the mirrored reflection of God and His glory. When He came into this world, His journey started in a dirty, insignificant little animal barn. He walked in the dirt. He reached out to draw the lowly and marginalized sinner to Him. He loved the tax collector, the homeless beggar, the prostitute. Why would the God who created the whole world care? Shouldn’t He start with the kings and leaders of the world? Yet, He started as the most helpless one in a stable. His earthly mother lying in straw. She pushed him into this world of filth, feces, and brokenness. We always show that stable as a cute little nook with clean baby animals, fresh straw, and glowing warm light but the reality was far different. I lived by a dairy farm as a girl. The barn was a wet and smelly area. It was only freshened if someone had just mucked the stalls and used brand new clean straw. I somehow doubt the manger was without a speck of manure, urine, dust, and dirt. Instead of being born in a palace, God lead them to a barn. Do you ever wonder why? I really think it’s to show us that there is no pit or hovel that He would not go to reach us. He can be found in the most filthy places. Places of sin and shame do not scare Him off. He is willing to come into the worst to reach us. To bring light and love to the most lost of us all.

The thing that separates us from turning to Jesus is our shame. We know that we are sinners. We know the condition of our hearts. The pride, jealousy, anger, lust, and hidden thoughts. We know that we are far from who Jesus is. He is holy and righteous, where as, we are not. When we feel the call to come into relationship with Him we stand and compare ourselves to His holiness. We know we cannot compare. We live in a society that is filled with comparison. We have the standards of the false façade of Instagram. Women especially feel the need to look and be perfect. You must be the prettiest, have the best relationship, the cutest child, and the most fantastic home. When the reality is we are all broken. Our hearts are empty.

So many turn away from Jesus feeling they are not worthy or He wouldn’t love them, if He knew the truth. The truth is He loves us unconditionally. This truth is what frees us. He knows all the hidden areas and the facades that we have. The hardest thing to understand is God’s grace. It costs us nothing but belief and acceptance. It cost Jesus everything. He paid it all when He laid down his life to pay for us. 1Peter 3:18 (NIV) says “Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God.”

When I walked away from what I knew was right, when I fell into deliberate sin, He knew that I would do it. Yet, He covered my sin and redeemed me. He still had open arms to His daughter who had run to this broken world instead of Him. My sin was covered the minute that I asked for it. As I fell to my knees and asked for forgiveness, my failure and shame were forgiven. Jesus lifted me back up and brushed me off. He covered my sin with that amazing grace that He purchased with His blood. Was it because I was worthy? No, it was because of His worthiness that covers me and frees me from shame. I think this is the hardest thing for people to accept. That they don’t have to pay for it. That all they are required to do is ask. Isn’t there a penitence or something you must do to be forgiven? Shouldn’t I have to kneel and whip myself with 30 lashes. Don’t I have to do something? The Grace of Christ is hard to swallow for us who live in a world where everything has a cost. Ephesians 2:8-9(NLT) says “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God”.

The enemy keeps us from coming to Jesus by naming all our sins. He tells us we cannot be forgiven or loved. Besides pride, that is his greatest weapon. He lies to us and tells us the blood of Jesus cannot cover that sin. He makes us question the power that is in that blood.

I am so very thankful that the God of this universe would even think twice about me. I’m just a little blip on the grand scheme of things. I was an unplanned and frankly an unwanted pregnancy. I was easily overlooked by this world. To God I matter. I am His child. He calls to each of us. He wants to call everyone to be His child. He wants to gather us to himself and bring us home to Him. John 1:12 (ESV) But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

If you don’t know Jesus, just ask Him to come into your life. Accept the Grace that He offers. It’s freely given when you ask. You don’t to have to get ready and clean up your life first. He doesn’t look at us and see our mess. Instead, He sees the love He has for you. He isn’t wanting to punish you. He wants to lift you up out of that state of death you are in. If you need changing, He’ll help you. If you are empty, He will fill you up with peace, love, and joy. Joy at knowing you are clean and redeemed.